Talking About “Don’t Speak”
(Written in Dec. 2021)
"Don't Speak" is a digital artwork made sometime in 2021. Unfortunately, I don't remember exactly when it was made (if I remember, I'll update this with the date).
This artwork is another one I made when I was sad. So, it reflects my feelings at the time of making this. The day I made it, I had woken up from this fantastic dream (well, not "fantastic" per se, it was really heavy and caused me a lot of discomfort, but it was just so memorable).
The point is, I would consider it a great dream, and I wanted to share it with someone. When I got the chance, I started to tell someone close to me about my dream, but before I could get past the first sentence, they said that they didn't want to hear about my dream. I, of course, got sad but brushed it off.
Later in the day, I tried to tell another person close to me about my dream. They snapped at me and told me they didn't like to hear me talk about my dreams because they didn't find them interesting. (I understood why they got annoyed, they just got off from work, and it was a busy day). But I couldn't help the sadness that came over me.
I started falling inside my mind. Wondering why I bothered to talk about my dreams. Why do I even bother to speak at all? Talking isn't something I'm used to, and putting thoughts into words is sort of hard for me. So because I feel like I lack communication skills, it's easy for me to be hard on myself in this area.
So, I went into my room. Cried for a bit, and after the major emotions calmed, I started this artwork.
The colors:
I chose black as a surrounding because I felt alone when making this.
I chose purple because that's a calming color for me, and that's what I imagine my aura to be.
I chose blue to represent the throat chakra. As I said, communication is not a strong skill for me.
I chose white because it shows up nicely against the dark colors for one. Two: I chose white because when I think of a spiritual being, I imagine them surrounded by white.
The black goop:
This goop is meant to represent how it feels when I talk. At least on this day. It felt like every word that left my mouth was an undesirable mess. That no one could make out. Hence why the title of this artwork is "Don't Speak." Because if I don't speak, then the black goop can't escape my mouth.
Conclusion:
After doing this piece, I felt better. All my sadness that I felt got reflected into this beautiful artwork that I am really proud of because it can reflect my inner thoughts. When looking at this, I can see where my insecurities lay and know which areas I want to be better in. In this case, I know that I am insecure about my voice and want to get better at expressing my thoughts and using my voice.
